


Scrape

by Kissa



Category: Mission: Impossible (Movies)
Genre: Butt, F/M, Gunshot, bullet removal, shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-27
Updated: 2019-10-27
Packaged: 2021-01-04 16:02:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21200330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kissa/pseuds/Kissa
Summary: I got a request a while ago over at tumblr and I didn't want to write the trope-y story. This is what you poor folks have to work with instead. I do hope you still enjoy it.





	Scrape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Walker_August](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Walker_August/gifts).

> I left it up to you to decide if reader is also a spy working undercover or someone not from that world. 
> 
> Also, I hear some of you protest "but I don't have a big ass, I can't identify with the reader!" My suggestion is to do what actors do and suspend your disbelief. There are skinny people who still think they have big butts. Henry Cavill being one of them. If you were to melt the fat on that man, you couldn't fry a Schnitzel on both sides in it. Just run with it, alright? It's almost Halloween. Play pretend.

“PLEASE, lie still, you’re the first person to get shot and then be even more restless and energetic than before. It’s bad enough that I can’t take you to a hospital and that I’m using whisky and ketamine. By the way, do I even want to know why you have ketamine in your house?” August babbles, his voice cracking between several pitches. 

You’ve never witnessed him out of control like this. 

But this day was unlike any other days and things have happened at a totally different speed than usual. 

You were at the farmer’s market; you spotted your hot neighbour tuck a packaged baguette in a tote under his arm and get on his motorbike - then you saw the man a few meters back aiming a gun at August and getting ready to shoot. 

What you did next surprised you the most. Instead of your mind going, “gun - time to bail!”, you jumped onto the motorbike behind him. 

The gun shot was not as loud as you expected it to be, but it did hurt like a motherfucker. 

Full of disbelief, you saw August turn, fast like lightning, and empty a whole clip in the shooter and the other men dressed in black that had gathered around you. 

“Hold on.” He had instructed, before taking off. 

When you got home to your neighbourhood, he helped you off the bike and frowned at seeing the blood. 

“You’re hit! Fuck! That needs looking at.” 

“Eh. It’s just my ass fat”. You said. The adrenaline was working at full force and now you could not feel anything. Moreover, it was funny to you, how you had gotten shot in the ass and thus escaped with a minor scrape. A few inches higher and the shooter could have hit your liver and then it wouldn’t have been funny anymore.

“It needs looking at. You could get infected if the bullet stayed in there.”

“You’re not taking me to a hospital alive, August. Here’s the deal. I like you, we’re friendly and we’ve been on a bunch of very fun dates, but you don’t call the shots now. This shit went down because of you. Now make good use of that basic training you guys get at the CIA and take care of the bullet yourself. My place.” 

August complied, more for the sake of not wasting any more time, helping you up to your house. 

You told him where he could find supplies and went to the living room sofa, where you spread a blanket over it and straddled a big, long cushion. 

“You know, this is regrettable.” August commented, lowering your track pants and exposing the wounded buttcheek. 

“What, that I lived?” 

“No, that you got shot because of me. This is so not how I wanted to arrive to the point where I get to take your pants off.”

“I know you think I’m too fat, every dude a little bit prettier than Freddie Kruger thinks he’s entitled to Victoria’s Secret models or hotter and judges every woman who dares not be that hot. As it happens, my ass is very competent at keeping me alive and I love it. God gave me an okay mind, but He gave me a fantastic ass.” 

“I am not arguing with that. I do like you. And I enjoyed our dates. But my work takes me away a lot. I wasn’t ghosting you. I was genuinely gone for a long time.” August said, pouring you and himself a big glass of whisky each, before disinfecting the area and getting to work. “This is going to hurt, hold my hand.” 

You take the offered hand, not because you think it might help, but because holding hands with August has been a goal for a while and you’re not about denying yourself. 

It does hurt, but you don’t make a sound. The ketamine wasn’t even needed.

Once August is done and bandaged your wound carefully, he disposes of the blood-stained tissues and gauze he used, then returns to you. 

“Why did you do it? Why did you take a bullet for me? You don’t even know me that well.” 

You shrug. 

“I guess I really do like you. My mind would have told me to run, but it wasn’t on. All I saw was my neighbour with the good moustache about to get wacked by some creep. Who’s not even from our hood. Were you careless? Did you bring work home?” 

“No. But I upset a lot of people in my line of work and occasionally one will send some… specialists to deal with me.”

“Well shooting you in broad daylight while you’re shopping for cheese and baguette was dumb. That was no specialist if you ask me.” You offer “Anyway, my magical ass done saved the day again.” 

August smiles at your words.

“Thank you for risking your life… and your big beautiful behind to rescue me. I’m not sure I was worth it, but that doesn’t take away from your gesture.” August says, coming to sit next to you on the sofa. “Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?” 

“Can you share some of that fancy bread and cheese?” You ask, hopeful. “I have some rosé on the fridge door.” 

“Gladly. One of these days I’m going to have to really make it up to you though.” 

“I know exactly how you’re going to do that… but it’s not time yet.” You say, smiling. 

The day ends well, despite the price tag on it being a little higher than usual for you. As long as August doesn’t suspect a thing, everything is working according to plan. And he does not.


End file.
